Last year I nearly boycotted Mother’s Day. The thought of not having our child or even a referral was unbearable. I was a bad daughter and sister. I didn’t send cards or flowers and I’m not even sure if I called. I received a book, Mommy and Me, from one of my beloved sister in laws. Even though it looked cute as can be I couldn’t read it. My husband had gotten me a card and flowers. It was a little more then I could handle. I really just wanted to pretend the day didn’t exist.
This year is much different. I keep joking around with my husband that he better be planning something great. The truth is I already got what I wanted most. Some little token will be fine. I’ve actually been debating about getting a tattoo (thanks to Evolved for donating a gift card to Dead of Winter) of my sons given Ethiopian name to commemorate the day.
And even though this year I will have my son home I am still finding it to be an emotional time. I didn’t give him life and I didn’t love him first. On the other side of the world there is an amazing woman who gave me the greatest gift (gift isn’t the right word but I don’t know what is) I could ever ask for.
I am trying to figure out a way to celebrate her on Birthmother’s Day. Did you know there was such a thing? I had never heard of it until about two years ago. “Birthmother’s Day is celebrated the Saturday before Mother’s Day. It originated in 1990 by a group of birthmothers in Seattle, Washington. Most birthmothers will agree that Mother’s Day is a very painful holiday and these women wanted to create something that would honor their birthmotherhood” (from http://www.birthmombuds.com/bmomsday.htm).
It’s hard to know how to honor her when she is so far away. I will make sure that we talk about her that day and throughout the years to come. I’ll make a donation to EOR in her honor. I will probably write her a letter and hope that one day I can give it to her. Unlike many parents of internationally adopted children we were lucky enough to meet Tesfa’s birth mother. I know that she is a loving and compassionate person. She deserves to be honored (as all mother’s do).