Adoption “words” Guest Blogger

One of the many things I love about my work with EOR is the people I meet along the way!  A few years ago I met Sabrina at our adoption agency’s summer gathering! We dined together enjoying Ethiopian food.  She is a friend who can always make you laugh! I love getting on facebook and seeing her status updates and how her little guy from Ethiopia is doing! Hopefully they will someday move to Oregon so my little Ethiopian can have a prom date with Mr. O.  This week, Sabrina had a note on her facebook that shares what many of us adoptive parents feel at times.  Thanks Sabrina, for sharing your thoughts.


While at the Oyster Festival yesterday I met a friend of a friend who was very interested in our family, if you know what I mean. New people always means old questions and comments…ugh. I was happy to talk with this person because he is a German that was born in South Africa and lived there for many years. Not your average dummy on the street. Anyway, it was great to talk with him, but he did keep saying one thing that got under my skin.  “Ollie is so lucky.” I hate that phrase so much.  I feel it really cheapens our entire situation, and Ollie’s past. I relate luck to finding $ in your pants pocket that you forgot about, or finding a winning lottery ticket in the street gutter.  There was nothing lucky about my son’s situation.

In my little pea brain, I like to chalk it up to CHOICE not Luck. Ollie’s birth family had to make the hardest decision anyone can make;  they chose to give him a better life. The police officer who found him, chose to hand him over to the amazing orphanage to care for him. We chose to start the process of adoption and everyone who helped us chose that career path because they are also caring, amazing people!

Luck implies that we all stumbled into each other on the street and were like, “Hey, you wanna be family?”

I don’t know, I just don’t like it, even though I know people don’t mean harm by it. Try a different word, maybe, fortunate or even fate, just not lucky.


2 thoughts on “Adoption “words” Guest Blogger

  1. It has always bothered me as well to hear people tell me that my girls are lucky. Until….just last week, I took all three of my daughters to have pedicures. The man that was doing mine asked me if the girls were from China. I told him “yes.” Without missing a beat, he told me he could tell they were Chinese because he’s Chinese. Then he stopped what he was doing, looked right at me, and said, “they are very lucky.” I told him that I was the one blessed having them as my daughters. He interrupted me and said very seriously…..”no, you don’t understand. They are VERY lucky girls.” It was really hard to say anything else at that point. He was coming from a much different place than anyone else that had ever uttered those words had. It really made me stop and think about things….

  2. Pingback: Sewing Party « Ethiopian Orphan Relief's Blog

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